But if not...

Voices shout in my ear, telling me who I am

I am confused and second guess myself so much

Angry eyes glare at me as if trying to pierce my soul

They blame and threaten me even so that I am afraid
God will deliver me

While standing up for what I believe is right I get laughed at

Because many misunderstand why I do what I do
It breaks my heart to endure this over and over again
These things that are thrust at me as I strive to live my beliefs
God will deliver me

Alone or within a crowd, I feel a desolating drought within me

With a thirst so great that I cannot quench it
My eyes are blinded and I am seeing illusions
My life means nothing and I mean nothing
God will deliver me

My eyes have been opened, face to face with mortality

My loved one’s life now placed in a fragile state
Afraid of the uncertain outcome, the pain that will be
And the moment she steps on the threshold of death
God will deliver me

Within my body continues an ongoing battle

A long difficult war that seems never to have an end
I’ve lost all of my strength and my body does not work properly
I feel the darkness encroach closer, a long enduring sleep
God will deliver me

But if not…I will have faith in the Lord

A group of women chat and laugh among themselves

They express love and support in their own chatty way
A silent but strong longing arises in me that they’d include me too
Among friends where I belong and where I can feel a heart turned to me
God will make this so

Denied of opportunity to receive desired blessings

I carry on and do whatever I know I must do
I will have the blessings I am waiting for
And when that day comes, my heart will be full of joy
God will make this so

Looking to my spouse, who’s my perfect companion

I know heaven is near in our home
Together we raise a family in harmony and love
And our children choose wisely and live the gospel well
God will make this so


But if not…I will have the faith in the Lord Jesus Christ

If I have done all I can do

In His time and in His way
I will be delivered and receive
All that He has

Commentary:

Growing up and witnessing life as it affects so many people, it is easy to get caught up in everything that goes wrong in life.  Sometimes it seems like the whole world is conspiring against you, but in reality it is not.  The only thing going against you is yourself.  There are so many things that can occur in life that, with an improper perspective, may seem hopeless to overcome.  As I watch people who face the possibility of death and/or are put into positions when they must stand for their faith or give in to the pressure pressed against them, it takes much courage, and I witnessed so many of them face their trials in triumph despite the difficulties they faced.  It is truly inspiring.  One thing many of them have in common along with their will to fight is their willingness to submit themselves to the hand of God.  They know that no matter the outcome of their trial, they will be in good hands.

This particular poem was based off of a talk by a leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints during one of their bi-annual general conferences.  The leader's name was Elder Dennis E. Simmons.  The talk was given in April 2004.  It was a reference to a beloved Old Testament story in the Holy Bible concerning Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego while they faced the threat of being thrown into the fiery furnace if they did not bow down to worship the idols of Babylon.  They refused to bow down and were thrown into the fire, but were protected by an angel from being burned to death.  His emphasis on the story was from a statement they made prior to being thrown into the fire proclaiming their faith that they knew God could deliver them, but, "if not," they will still worship him and him only. "But if Not" Elder Dennis E. Simmons

No one's life goes the way they want it to, nor do any of us get through it without any challenges and problems.  This poem is an expression of the many dear things I have individually struggled with as well as witnessed loved ones and close friends struggle with on a daily basis.  We will not always be granted the chance for that perfect situation in life we so much dream of; however, as we put our faith and trust in God, no matter what the situation, we're good.  The matters are in His hands.