As I look to the ceiling
I watch the gentle glow
Of Christmas tree lights,
Confused by the darkness
From the inward battle commencing
The overwhelming heavy feelings
Weigh down my soul
A feeling of nothingness
A feeling of loneliness
A longing desire
The burden in my heart grows
And I can no longer carry its weight
My breathing is labored
The battle commences against my tears
And it is lost
In this world I’m a nobody
No name
No amazing talent
Just simple little me
But simple little me
Is blessed with enough talent
To reflect the Lord’s name
In whom I am a loved somebody
Through Him my battles are won
His love brings forth my tears
My breathing is labored
But the weight is lifted
My heart flies with its new found freedom
And a fulfilled desire
A feeling of self-worth
A feeling of fullness
My soul is enlightened
By overwhelming feelings of joy
A victorious celebration commences
The light clears my view
As on I watch the Christmas tree lights
In their beautiful glow and graceful dance
Reaching outward and toward the ceiling…at which I look
--Rebecca Anne Weight
Christmas 2015
Commentary:
I remember at one time listening to my dad talk about his childhood memories of lying underneath the Christmas tree and looking up at the decorations and lights on the tree, and I think about my own memories of doing the same thing. There is something magical about looking at the lights as they shine in the darkness, and seeing the glow reflecting off of the ceiling. Even as time passes that is one part of Christmas that never seems to grow old. I could spend hours staring at the lights.
This particular poem speaks of another subject, the feelings and thoughts that can sometime come to an anxious mind. Thinking about how I am only one person in the world and how I for some reason have the incredible gift of making it through life without being noticed, it sometimes seems like the attention never comes because I don't have anything of worth to bring to others, but of course, that's not true. The worst thing I do and have done is to try to compare my abilities with others. There are some incredibly talented people out there who are so amazing that everyone knows them, but does that mean I am worthless because I am unknown? No. My worth lies in other parts of the world, perhaps I get to fill the quiet corners that the others leave behind. That doesn't make me less important. As a matter of fact, it would make me incredibly important as I am able to fill the gaps that the others can't. Being important is not synonymous with being famous.
It is a great example of the poems I write when I'm struggling with negative thoughts. It starts out with me expressing the thoughts I'm struggling with, but at some point in the poem, I redirect my thoughts to a more positive outlook. It has always been my personal therapy to help me see things in a better light so that I'm not being so hard on myself. This practice is highly successful and has helped me through some difficult times.
Commentary:
I remember at one time listening to my dad talk about his childhood memories of lying underneath the Christmas tree and looking up at the decorations and lights on the tree, and I think about my own memories of doing the same thing. There is something magical about looking at the lights as they shine in the darkness, and seeing the glow reflecting off of the ceiling. Even as time passes that is one part of Christmas that never seems to grow old. I could spend hours staring at the lights.
This particular poem speaks of another subject, the feelings and thoughts that can sometime come to an anxious mind. Thinking about how I am only one person in the world and how I for some reason have the incredible gift of making it through life without being noticed, it sometimes seems like the attention never comes because I don't have anything of worth to bring to others, but of course, that's not true. The worst thing I do and have done is to try to compare my abilities with others. There are some incredibly talented people out there who are so amazing that everyone knows them, but does that mean I am worthless because I am unknown? No. My worth lies in other parts of the world, perhaps I get to fill the quiet corners that the others leave behind. That doesn't make me less important. As a matter of fact, it would make me incredibly important as I am able to fill the gaps that the others can't. Being important is not synonymous with being famous.It is a great example of the poems I write when I'm struggling with negative thoughts. It starts out with me expressing the thoughts I'm struggling with, but at some point in the poem, I redirect my thoughts to a more positive outlook. It has always been my personal therapy to help me see things in a better light so that I'm not being so hard on myself. This practice is highly successful and has helped me through some difficult times.
